Nourish Your Soul with Nature

just a little note: i wrote this piece in my regular column in a magazine in its Fall-Winter issue...read on...

Typhoon Megi just left the country and there’s another one coming. It’s late October, it’s Autumn in the other side of the Earth and early evening rains are wildly pouring as I write this. There is a sudden breath of cool breeze wafting my neighbor’s early simmering supper. Times like these, I remember as a child, were times of excitement. The first rains of May, the advent of the wet season in the Asian Tropical Belt, were times of exhilaration. We’d rush out of the house, and exhaust ourselves to a game of tag under the drenching rain. And early next day, we’d “fish” for tadpoles and collect them in little clear bottles we saved from the mayonnaise mom used for the homemade hamburger, hotdog or chicken sandwiches (fast food was unheard of back then, and that’s another story). There is something extremely beautiful about the outdoors. About Nature herself...

Nature truly heals. I seem to have gained another perspective in life after my solitary silent retreat weekend in my hermitage. Solitude was a delicious mix of an unstructured string of adventures. “Meditation with Nature” began with waking up to rooster crows before daybreak. My room being beside the little chapel, affords me the opportunity to easily creep up to sit on the floor of this sacred space in quiet abandon. The call of the outdoors was completed by birds’ numerous calls and songs, which I obeyed by inner guidance as I slid slowly into the garden. Munting Bukal (the Little Spring hermitage) is home to about 10 varieties of flowering shrubs. Part of the meditation was to get to know each of them, not only by name, but by color, feel, number of petals, and smell. Then I moved on to thank the trees for their shade and fragrant sweet scent. Then I continued…smiling at the chilly air touching my face, watching a spider weave its web, enjoying freshly-cut grass from nearby, chasing butterflies (there were many!), listening to sounds of far-off neighbors’ laughter, dogs barking, children playing, and busy bees buzzing. The sun is up by this time and I thought an Oriental exercise would be perfect ending: waving hands by the lake, floating silk in the air, expanding chest on the mountain, painting the rainbow, Earth’s scent moving up, and thirteen more movements. I noticed even my exercise is indeed inspired by nature. I silently admired my Chinese ancestors. They must have been so connected to creation. Deep down inside me, I hunger for this. Which is why I make it a point to reconnect with nature regularly…

When I reached Manila, I made follow-up “quiet sittings” in a Monastery chapel east of the city (the quietest place in the Metro so far). My “quiet sitting” means just that. To sit quietly, emptying thoughts of whatever comes. To do this, I created an imagined idyllic natural scenery that I adopt. That is the same place I go back to when meditation time comes, when I need it most. It is my intimate space I claim as my own. I don’t only “go” to this “place” when in meditation, but also when I need to pause during a panicky day, or when something really irritating happens at home or in my workplace. My imagined picturesque space is a narrow river with its nurturing waters. I imagine all my thoughts like falling leaves, dropping, descending, plunging gently into the waters, flowing with the current, out…out flowing out to sea, where all rivers end.

Solitude with nature is like a gentle caress for the soul. To renew our mind, body and spirit, we need to make time to go to a solitary place where nature and me are alone and spend time to get to know each other. Sometimes we cannot do this physically and so we do it meditatively. The benefits of relating with nature and meditation are numerous. Connecting with nature opens up our sense of the sacred. We begin to be care-full. We begin to touch gently and handle creation lovingly. Neuropsychologists have discovered that meditation decreases activity in the left parietal lobe of the brain and therefore increases the practice of selflessness. “People with these selfless spiritual experiences also are more psychologically healthy, especially if they have positive beliefs...” ( Science Daily, Dec 22, 2008) In emptying our thoughts when in silence, we increase our ability to yield more to others, and be more tolerant and understanding. In a most gentle and loving way, we learn to respect Life…

A certain thought dancing through my head: this wonder-full expression of reconnecting with Nature can be traced back to the beginning of time – to the beginnings of the Universe, of life on Earth. Brian Swimme and Thomas Berry articulates it elegantly in their “The Universe Story” : The universal order that holds things together in a comprehensive embrace can be presented in mathematical equations. But it can be and consistently has been presented in mythic form. From earliest times, this vast embrace bonding all things together in the magnificence of the entire created order has been understood in the maternal metaphor of the Great Mother. It was the fecundity and the nurturing quality of the universe that so impressed the earliest humans. This principle of fecundity and this nurturing quality we can now identify with that grand curvature of the universe, for this indeed is the creative and nurturing context of all that exists.” (B. Swimme and T. Berry, 1992, The Universe Story, pp 219-220)

Romancing the stars and the waxing moon that night in my hermitage was truly revivifying. I imagined every tissue in my body regenerating. It was invigorating. I felt reconciled with my mind, my body and my spirit. I felt for most of the people out there in the night…Sometimes we come from a brokenness that just needs some space to pick up the pieces, no hurry. Sometimes we come from a fragmented, disfigured, crippled relationship. We feel shattered, battered and bruised. Sometimes we do feel like we need to find our Selves again, to revive what is weakening, and to restore some “soul” in us. Humanity is writhing in pain. All of humanity as well as Earth community. And in the midst of all this, Life continues. Growing, loving, peacemaking, giving, thanking, and above all hoping.

At this very moment, after reading this piece, do go out and touch a leaf, feel its contours, its smoothness or roughness. Or drive yourself through the more picturesque side of your route to work. Or go out in the early evening and just feel the night slowly yielding to darkness. Or place your hand in the middle of your chest and feel your heartbeat…your blood flowing…just like the river in my imagination...just like all rivers, our blood flows…for Life is Beautiful. Go gently...

(thanks to friends all over, for pictures...)

One Year!

I never noticed it... It's been a year since I started blogging. And that was supposed to be last June...I was lost in some other space for Being...would like to share with you my very first blog, and I quote...

"fresh flowers. a leaf bud appearing. freshly cut grass. signs of newness indeed. take a deep breath. life is good, isn't it? welcome to a new beginning as i am starting a life anew! today is a day for sacred space. as all of creation is, you are a special one. join me on a healing path as we journey through life. you may have gone through a labyrinthine walk in your life, a deep downspiral journey into darkness where you've never been before. i have gone through the same experience, and is still going through a lot in my life right now. some people call it depression. whatever it is, what matters is we are able to gather the wisdom we so need and the grace to embrace us."

I am indeed grateful to all you who have followed me, my "kamanlalakbay", my fellow journeyers...

I am grateful for all the blessings in life I have received. As a gift, here's a feature article I wrote that was published in a magazine. It features my friend and his group of very unique people...who love our culture, and who are doing their best to preserve it...

SANGHABI: Weaving Wellness through Sound and Dance

"Keep an open mind and try to eliminate assumptions. Not everyone in a given culture is the same. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Learn more about unfamiliar cultures. Become familiar with your own ethnic background. Ask your grandparents or other family members about your family history. Move from dualistic thinking to a multi-cultural way of thinking. Interact with others about their traditions and cultures. Reconnect with people of different cultures to collaborate on mutual goals." (www.csuchico.edu/wellness/whatis/cultural) These are just some of the ways we can encourage one another towards cultural wellness. How is cultural wellness different from the "wellness" we all understand to be connected to "health"? In fact, it has a lot to say about "health", and may be just the key to a certain well-being we all need to embrace.

When I first got acquainted with this unique collective of talents, I felt a different aura around them. The group's language is peace. I was introduced to them by the Sisters of the Good Shepherd in an Indigenous Music event. Soon, I was instantly transported to someplace I can't even say where. When I listened to a story of the Mountain People of the Cordilleras through the soothing sound of the Tongali (Kalinga nose flute) all at once I understood what was going on inside me. I had a craving for where I came from...for the roots of who I am...for the home of my mother and father ancestors...for the high places where my spirit leaps...

Indigenous peoples are fast vanishing because of the layers of Western influences overpowering this "original blessing". We have long been disconnected from the past that have nourished who we are now. Many of us have come from "forgotten origins on a mission we no longer recall". And we now find ourselves "disconnected from our real roots and alienated from our true nature." We have somehow wandered away from the "earlier times when human beings felt they belonged". There is a need to awaken us to a true and forgotten identity, and return to our "home". Everyday, when I leave my workplace in the heart of Manila, I'd encounter a multitude of students heading for home from the congestion of the University Belt. I immediately feel that somehow there seems to be disconnectedness, with no time to enjoy the sky displaying a breathtaking spray of colors deep orange, a sentimental blue and a delicious blend of purple and pink. Missing something like that is indeed disheartening. We have allowed our minds to be trained to forget and dismiss the beauty of nature, nowhere else to be found. But looking deep into our honest selves, we crave for life-giving spaces...

Thus, we find ourselves in a great adventure to return to our origins. Where our ancestors flourished in a simplistic way of life. Where our original mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers danced and sang as it was part of everyday life. Where music was not studied, but embraced as Life. This is the message of Sanghabi...

The word is translated as "one weave". The name serves as a metaphor for the culmination of years of development of ideas and concepts after ten years of facilitating workshops, doing performances as well as conducting its own research on Philippine culture. As it is a newly-organized non-profit organization, Sanghabi is a natural offshoot of Hibla (which means, fiber or thread). It continues to build on the work it started with Hibla from way back 1998 and has expanded its core membership to include individuals interested in Philippine Culture. Because it envisions moving towards one Filipino consciousness ("one weave") rooted in the Indigenous arts of music and movement, Sanghabi hopes to contribute to education of the FIlipino of the diversity and richness of Filipino culture. As it helps its participants discover this diversity through learning the cultural context of Indigenous musical instruments and movement in celebration of community, Sanghabi hopes to accompany participants in reclaiming the Filipino heritage, and thus recover, what was for many centuries hidden and buried underneath layers of cultural conditioning. Ultimately Sanghabi aims to reach its goal of being a way to healing conflicting ways of life as it educates the Filipino of the diversity and richness of Philippine culture. In this sense, cultural wellness is an awareness of one's own cultural background, as well as the diversity and richness present in other cultural backgrounds. It involves interacting well with people of both genders, different backgrounds, lifestyles, abilities, ethnicities, and ages.

By providing space and a process to create experience, Sanghabi teaches that through the pintig (the beat or pulse that Indigenous music is made of), participants discover how a community comes together by way of sound and movement. Community is not organized around geography, race, or ethnicity. Community is about a way of thinking that builds relationships, togetherness, and cohesion. Community is created by the weaving of the processes of talents, skills, and inner wisdom. Sanghabi achieves this by allowing people to enter through the avenues of workshops, lectures, events, specific initiatives, support groups and doing performances. Engagement then, is the primary success indicator.

Looking into its future initiatives, Sanghabi believes that a knowledge and engagement in life-giving culture is the beginning of a truly healthy way of living. Healing happens when people recognize and accept the wisdom within themselves and their ancestors, and taps their practices, disciplines, and traditions. It believes that wellness is hinged on the engagement in self-assessment and personal goal attainment connected to family and kinship, community and culture. Reconciliation among cultures contributes to healing in the cultural dimension, which, in turn, affects community and personal health. Health happens because the space and the activities open up the person. When the person is opened, they are educated and prepared to take ownership of their health. Sanghabi hopes to weave a colorful tapestry of happy and healthy life-giving and life-bearing individuals.

For now, its focus is clear: " Pagtibayin ang pagka-Pilipino ng bawa't isa sa pamamagitan ng pag-uugat sa katutubong tunog at galaw at pahalagahan ang katutubong tradisyon " (to strengthen being Pilipino through rootedness in Indigenous sound and movement and in giving value to Indigenous tradition).

Sanghabi invites all, beginner or non-beginner, to be part of this adventure of weaving, this variegated interlacing of sound and movement to realize cultural wellness in a collective pursuit. Its humble center, Balay ng Hibla, located in 8 N.Domingo St., San Juan, Metro Manila, houses its interesting collection of Indigenous instruments from North to South of the Philippines. Here, one may meet cultural worker and bamboo instrument maker Leo Emmanuel Castro at work. He would be happy to tell you stories of indigenous peoples and their lifeways!

See you there… or perhaps in one of their performances?...may we all be well...go gently...

Soultales In Parallel Universes...

The god of surprises did it again. But first, it was not an easy route. Life must really be tough, i thought. I was thinking about the old days. When inhabitants of these islands had to trek through thick forests and endless heights on foot. It felt like moving up was unstoppable. Gee, i thought, when it's easy to go up, it must not be difficult to fall down. Falling, after all, is an art, so they say. That thought was meant to comfort me. And it did. My mind wandered about, while my eyes rolled here and there. You seem to be looking for something, he asked. No, I'm observing, I snapped. I'm trying to look for a jacaranda tree. It's my kind of an uncommon tree. I was trained to be observant in my College days. A scientist, they say, should have a sensitive eye. And a sensing heart, I countered. As a people we love to concoct mixtures, dilute fluids, dream up recipes. It makes of our culture. See, halo-halo, kare-kare, pito-pito, and so on. I love to challenge my self with preparing a delicious blend of science, spirituality, economics, and arts. This is what makes up life. This is what I see around me. Particularly on this zigzag road to Nakar, Quezon. A road symbolic of a new path I am carving...

I never expected this was going to happen. I was invited to a team-building session of my new colleagues. I was extremely grateful, because I know by this gesture that I have been accepted by the group. Wonderful indeed. I prepared myself to savor a long list of structured activities, that should be rigidly followed. I was expecting to meet a Director who would give instructions on assigning people to do this and to do that. A bolt from the blue it was, and all expectations failed. Great. This is what leaves one in utter wonderment. I suppose nobody in the group noticed but I was truly relieved when I learned that there was no schedule and no structure at all. (You know how it feels? When before a class in Calculus your professor says, yes class no quiz today. Whew. I can continue reading my novel while he solves the problems of the world on the chalkboard.) But amazement comes in all shapes, colors, forms, and sizes. You know how it feels when you're new in a group, right? There is just no word in the dictionary for that. There were epiphanies and revelations. Humanity is celebrating in that moment in time. In that piece of space in this Universe nine human beings danced, sang, cooked, moved their beings to the extreme. It was not difficult for me to fit in to this hallowed space. This is Life rejoicing...

The Hut By The Sea was perfect. Rustic is perfection. To taste life at its best, I need to bow, bend, almost kiss the earth to touch its beauty. To savor its sweetness, I yield to Earth's call of madness. In the mundane things that being-ness offers, I receive with gladness. Every little encounter in the three days and two nights by the sea, was pregnant with meaning. Ready to give birth to newness. Nature's generosity was overwhelming...the breaking dawn...sunset beyond the Sierra Madre...sticks and stones...driftwood...toiling fisherfolk...the toad in the room...the lone egret...three hungry dogs...and a friendly cat...bounty from the sea...the fern salad...the starry, starry night (no wonder Van Gogh went mad)...I can go mad...this is madness for longing for wisdom hidden in the simple. For it is in the simple that the god of surprises dwells...

go gently through life...

midlifing in may

now i know, i'm pretty sure,
i am midlifing...
after seven cycles of seven years,
i have reached a point in time
when i believe in me...
that i can utter a pure "no"
to things i cannot do.

the heat of the noontime sun
scorching every bit of skin cell
so symbolic of this noontime
of my life..



the summer, simmering, smoldering sun,
heating up from within
giving, offering, accompanying,
unburdening, encouraging,
drawing, creating, re-creating...



from where shall i heave my strength?
my knees are shaking
my eyes are failing
and yet my body pines, and yearns
for youth...




ahhh...the wisdom i have gleaned
from my colorful past.

oh the life i made from my
gaudy bygone days.

i shall treasure...
for i grow...still and silent
as i await my passing...

Remembering the Women of Our Lives...They Who Have Nourished Our Souls

I feel a wonderful rush up my bloodstream. Call it excitement. There are many transitions happening at this time of the year and at this time of my life. In the Northern Hemisphere, the change from winter to spring is anticipated. The fresh, renewed soul of this season brings a revitalized energy after the long hibernating spirit of winter. After a long resting period, nature transforms and unfolds into buds, greens, meristems...




In the Philippines, where the seasons are only the wet and the dry, this time of the year ushers in the summer months - the dry season. The scent of yellow Narra tree blossoms waft through the air, a gentle sign that summer is here. And so is graduation, end-of-the-school year, entrance exams, thesis defenses, mangoes, watermelons, turnips, Acacia tree blossoms, Bougainvilleas’ colorful display, and the most revered "halo-halo" (an ingenoius concoction of crushed ice, sweetened beans, chickpeas, nata de coco, sago, sweetened saba banana, ube jam, milk, sugar, and topped with ube ice-cream!) Yes, I am writing in the month of March. And I feel that a most important event during this month is the celebration of women.




Remembering is so much a part of our lives. We remember each other's birthday. We bring to memory religious festivities and rituals that are so much a part of who we are as family and as a people. We celebrate feasts and honor our saints and holy people. We recall who they were and what they have contributed to our well-being. Remembering philosophers, scientists, artists, doctors, teachers and professionals and their contributions are much a part of our academic pursuits. The Israelites have faithfully reminded one another about "remembering". For it is in remembering the saving power of God that they have preserved their faith. Indeed, in remembering, we hold in our hearts , an eternal joy, the fruit of our life-giving experiences.

( from http://www.olssonkart.dinstudio.se/gallery_1.html)

And so, we celebrate the presence of half of the population of the world. We celebrate the presence of those who, together with men, have given their lives to preserve generations. It began in the U.S., when in the late 1800s, factory women bravely marched the streets to protest low wages and inhuman treatment. Bravery, courage, strength. Today that same bravery, courage, and strength is their legacy to us, their children, women and men as we are. And because gratitude is a memory of the heart, together we remember. Let me share with you, a piece of poetry I wrote for Women’s Month years ago…

A REMEMBERING…


The women who have gone before us, our mother ancestors, who have nourished us through time…

The women who have suffered pain, persecution and death so that we may be able to speak out and make decisions for ourselves…

The women who have carved the path to help us journey on and reach our dreams…

The women who have washed our clothes...

The women who have cooked our meals...

The women who have cleaned our houses...

The women who have designed and woven beautiful fabrics...

The women who have sewn our clothes...

The women who have healed us with their hands, herbs and oils...

The women who were our teachers… those who spent their whole lives forming us into what we have become…

The women in factories…committed to produce the best commodities to nourish us…

The women who have built bridges to mend the gaps in our lives…

The women who took risks in the past, so that women in crisis today may be sheltered and cared for…

The women who spent sleepless nights writing, journaling, thinking so that today, we read their stories of inspiration, encouragement and love…

The women who have invented the little things in life making our lives today much easier…

The women who have nurtured orphaned children, so that each may feel the love of a mother…

The women who have breastfed their children; mothers who have given their bodies to nourish future leaders, artisans, scientists, poets…

The women who sang to their children – mothers whose song and music nourished her child’s soul…

The women who read to their children – mothers whose voices and words nourished her child’s mind…

The women who have fallen and struggled to rise from the pit of desolation…

The women who have strayed away and drifted from the rest of us, because we have condemned them, called them names, labeled them...

The women who have journeyed with us through life – friends, companions who accompany us and who have committed to be with us for always…

We remember them…for they are our SISTERS walking as pilgrims on the same path, heading towards healing...and fulfilling our DREAMS…We remember...and we will never forget...those whose bodies have nourished our souls…may they always be. e

I happily invite you today, to craft something special for that woman in your life; mother, sister, daughter, grandmother, aunt, grand-aunt, friend. Bring her to your heart and whisper the song of your spirit…that deep call within you that weaves through the stories of your lives together. Remember… her presence brings life, healing, and love that nurtures the garden within....

go gently...

(thanks to friends who shared their photos...)

Meditation Chimes

Be good to your Self...

Click on the chimes and enjoy...
Peace be with you always...

Hope in the Coming Year!

Every new year allows some space for us to take a deep breath and....
wow... welcome new beginnings!


I remember mom would always say when we were kids: Ok, I know
you did something wrong; but remember, we will begin again...I think that's
a great opportunity to correct whatever error you committed and
reconcile with differences. After all, there are no mistakes...only lessons to be learned!


If you notice I'm sharing with you pictures of Mandalas. I love mandalas. It helps in focusing, meditation and reflecting about Life. This coming year, wouldn't it be great for us to visualize more specifically what we love to do and what we think will make us express our true Self, what God wants us to Be. And that's for us to have life and make it the fullest life ever!



Thank you all for a wonderful blogging life last year! You are all blessings to this blog!
Go gently through the year...

The Feast of Christmas Prayer

This beautiful prayer reminds us what Christmas is all about. A Child is born, but He is no ordinary child; He is the Lord of all, Jesus Christ, Whose kingdom will have no end. And we, if we follow Him and grow in holiness, will live in that kingdom eternally.

We pray this prayer after arriving home from Midnight Mass, or on Christmas morning, before opening presents. You can also pray it as part of your table grace before Christmas dinner. And, of course, any prayer for Christmas can be prayed every day up through the Feast of Epiphany (January 6). There is no need even to change the words "this day": The celebration of the feast continues through the Twelve Days of Christmas, as if it were a single day.

Prayer for the Feast of Christmas

Ant. A light shall shine upon us this day: for our Lord is born to us; and He shall be called Wonderful, God, the Prince of peace, the Father of the world to come, of Whose kingdom there shall be no end.

V. A child is born to us.

R. And to us a Son is given.

Let us pray.

Grant, we call on you, O Lord our God, that we who rejoice in celebrating the birthday of our Lord Jesus Christ may deserve by holiness of life to attain unto fellowship with Him. Who lives and reigns forever and ever. Amen.


May we all have a Joyous Christmas and a Peaceful Year ahead!

"Simbang Gabi"

I should apologize for having gone away a long while...things have been too tough for me at work... i had to meet a lot of "delivery dates" (this is what i call "deadlines")and what a great move i did! i've written 5 articles in 2 weeks and words just flooded my brain. i got so overwhelmed , it was just too much, and gently...i had to take care of my Self...spent time in blissful solitude...allowing peace and tranquility to set in, until...now...




Tonight begins a wonderful Christmas tradition in the Philippines! It's called "Simbang Gabi". It literally translates 'Night Mass'. This traces itself to 400 years of Spanish colonization in the Phil. when Christianity found a home in these islands. It was originally the Catholic Holy Mass celebrated at dawn, around 3 or 4am when farmers would be rising early to celebrate the Eucharist first before working in the fields. Today, it is still celebrated at dawn in some churches, but some have introduced changes in time, and hence, the anticipated masses on the night before. It runs for nine days, and so, it is sometimes called the Christmas Novena Masses. It ends on the eve of Dec 25, that's 12 midnight of Dec. 24...


i remember when i was a little girl, i loved "simbang gabi" (oh don't ever think i was that pious little Catholic bred girl who would love praying for hours and hours!). what i really loved then (and until now...) were the goodies sold outside the church! there were all kinds of sweet stuff that satisfied my sweet tooth and craving tummy...there was "Bibingka", a kind of rice cake cooked in an improvised oven made of a shallow clay pan filled with burning charcoal, the cake batter in the middle and hot coals on top of the batter (i hope you can imagine the idea of the batter being "baked" with both sources of heat on top and at the bottom. if not, below is a photo of a woman cooking bibingka) that's how ingenious Filipinos can be-our very own "bibingka oven". Another winner is "Puto Bumbong" that is glutinous rice with purple yams, cooked by steaming an improvised steaming set-up of tins, bamboo and charcoal. both bibingka and puto bumbong go well with fresh grated coconut! They can be very starchy though, so, sugar level will surely rise!



This is how "bibingka" is "baked"...(it is typical to sell bibingka also in front of houses especially during "simbang gabi" hours, and throughout the Christmas season, catering to customers who walk to church.) Now, here's a photo of "bibingka" which can also be enriched with white cottage cheese, butter and slices of salted eggs (watch that cholesterol!). See that "snow" on top? That's the grated fresh coconut...


It's the third week of Advent...we anticipate Christ's coming...we continue to hope!
(I'll share more traditions next blog...see you all!)

go gently through life...

It's Here!

Christmas is almost here, and advent is the time for waiting...see our advent wreath? beautiful reminder, it truly is. Gazing at this reminder makes it a powerful symbol...a symbol of Love...a symbol of Hope...yes, hope is more than a word, a state of being. it's a firm belief that even if you don't know when, God will come through and better days are ahead...

Inspirational Lotus Pond

to be truly inspired throughout the day - that's how i wish you would be...enjoy, relish, delight in being inspired...and treasure it for life...

Of Airports, Storytelling and Food for the Soul

"There are depths within me I would like to touch;
and there are depths of the Great Presence I would like to experience.
Surrender within me, O Great Presence these new depths
as I give myself up in loving abandon
to your holy creativity..."


Just as I thought I could get things done on my way to Malaybalay, Bukidnon* - last minute finishing touches on my module for a workshop - I met Minnie. The air was chilly, passengers were relaxed waiting for domestic flights. Mine was the 9:45. I took out my non-fiction James Conlon book. Snug as I was, waiting for the last youth-participant to this National Youth Peace Camp organized by an NGO I am networking with, my peripheral view saw Minnie quietly reaching into her bag. And then the scent. It was a relaxing one. My eyes met hers, she smiled and as if she knew exactly what I wanted to ask, readily answered, " It's tiger balm, the white one. It's good. Nice scent too. " Yes, I really liked the scent. I love these chinese instant medicines. They're a cure-all. That led to a friendly conversation with Minnie. One story after the other.


I don't really know what's with me, but, when I get into "peopled" places such as airports, malls, bus terminals and ladies rooms, I seem to be a great target for story-telling. Most of them elderly people, or, I would discover later, people suffering from a certain illness. Some people exude a welcoming spirit that attracts other people who might need help. And this 'help' isn't the trivial 'picking up a fallen handkerchief' thing, but can be as serious as helping someone who has "fallen" into spiritual depths. Ever experienced the spiritual depths? It's that never-ending, keeps-coming-back, feels-like-a-roller-coaster-ride-minus-the thrill feeling. I'm lost for words to describe it. Some artists call it the 'dry spells'. Poets call it "a blank page'. Others call it 'depression'.




My early arrival seemed to gather a sacred purpose. I had more than three hours to wait for boarding time. And my book read, " ...interiority means we each have a personality that is our own, a spontaneous energy that creates relationships." Spontaneous it really was. It was a surprise. Have you ever felt like some time in the past, you've met this person you're talking to? Your feeling seems to be so light with this person that everything else around becomes unbearable. It was like I went to the airport just for this purpose. As she opened up her story, I began to feel something deep opened up within me and it was good.



As we talked about the Chinese medication, I discovered her eyes seemed to be exhausted. Her voice was so soft I had to ask her to repeat what she said almost everytime. Then it came, I don't know how, I can't remember. Tears welled up as she talked and I heard her mumble about her father's death. It was four years ago. I still miss him. I am "daddy's girl". He was so gentle, loving, the kindest dad in the world. These were very much impressed into my memory. I can't forget the help-me-i-can't-understand-why look. She was grieving. After four years she never had a chance for real good grieving time. I was struck by this new reality. I had a connection with her story.


I, too, am grieving, not only for my own father's loss last year,but for so many things i have to let go in so many instances in my life. Letting go. That's the issue. Does that sound familiar? How much of our lives have been spent in "letting go"(s)? Parents, I know you can relate to this. But there is an all-familiar experience in each of us. We have had experiences of giving up things, losing friends and loved ones, yielding to unexpected situations, and actions that call for decisions so urgent, you just have to give something up for the benefit of the other. I realized that in my forty-eight years roaming about this planet called Earth, my heart aches for so much losses I've had. Finally, I decided this is what I needed to face. A real encounter with my losses. To tell my story of pain. How grim, you might say, but wait, that's exactly what I found out about facing your loss - the fact is, you can only appreciate the light, when you have been in the dark. Victory comes after the fall. What matters is, the insights and wisdom learned in the process. I remember a gold mine I found from Thomas Moore:

This 'minotaur' of my labyrinth
- my soul - this suffering, this beast
that stirs in the core of my being
is also the Asterion - the star - of my
interior life, my innermost nature.
I have to give time
to care for this suffering with
extreme reverence so that
in my fear and anger at this beast,
I do not overlook the star - the beauty
of my soul -
I have fallen into ignorance
and confusion, so that now I can see this
as an opportunity to discover that this beast
residing at the center of
my interior life is also an angel...
(from Care of the Soul, T. Moore)


And this angel is bringer of good news - that it is possible to begin again, to hope for the best, because better days are coming. Indeed, we think this journey we are taking now seems dark and dreary, but passing through raging waters and braving the strongest storms is challenge for the human spirit. Minnie talked about the things she learned from her father's passing away, and it seemed like it was endless. It was a beautiful symphony. The love she felt from friends, the care of her also-grieving mother; just as she was talking to me everything seemed so significant now. Until that time in the airport, she never felt the need to remember and tell her story. Getting down into the depths is sometimes necessary for the spirit within to quiet down, be still and know, trust and let go (Ps. 46:`10). Most of the time it is the conflict within us that is more difficult to come to terms with than all the battles in the history of the world. As I told Minnie to befriend this pain within her, my heart was full of compassion. I couldn't give her anything except cry with her, hold her hand and assure her of God's faithfulness.



What ever happened to my new-found friend? We exchanged mobile numbers before we said goodbye (yes, just as the last participant arrived, we were done with our sharing), exchanged kisses, hugs, "be safe"s and "take care"s. Up to this moment in time, we are good friends and will remain so as long as life breathes. This is food for the soul...nourishing, nurturing...go gently through life...

(thanks for photos from friends everywhere...)

*Bukidnon is a landlocked plateau province of the Philippines located in the Northern Mindanao region. Its capital is Malaybalay City. The province borders, clockwise starting from the north, Misamis Oriental, Agusan del Sur, Davao del Norte, Cotabato, Lanao del Sur, and Lanao del Norte.

Bukidnon is considered by Filipinos to be the food basket of Mindanao. It is the major producer of rice and corn in the region. Plantations in the province also produce pineapples, bananas and sugarcane.

It has two important landmarks, Mt. Kitanglad and Pulangi River. Mt. Kitanglad is 2,955 meters above sea level. Pulangi River, on the other hand, traverses through the northeastern and southern part of the province towards the Rio Grande of Mindanao.
The province's total land area is 829,378 hectares (8, 293.78 square kilometers). It accounts for 59 percent (59%) of Northern Mindanao.

hope prevails

i know i've been away for quite a while...

and yes a new typhoon is brewing in the north
people there have been evacuated.
i just can't imagine what else is going to happen.
my best friend, joanne, from dagupan, pangasinan,
one of the hardest hit, with 15 ft. of flood waters,
remains hopeful despite the situation.

oh, so much for that...hope abounds, yes it does. one of the good signs is this...


may i share with you a favorite song...

if all the people around the world
they have a mind like yours
we'd have no fighting and no wars
there would be lasting peace on earth

if all the kings and all the leaders
could see you here this way
they would hold the earth in their arms
they would learn to watch and play...


Oh my sleeping child,
the world's so wild
but you've built
your own paradise
that's the reason why
i'll cover you sleeping child

(jascha richter)

the sleep of a baby
undeniably a vivid image
we envy the serenity
the tranquility


in the stillness of the night
they put across a message
the day is over
the sun will be out again tomorrow

in silence, they convey the thought
that we must not look at what has been \
with anger,
nor should we fear the morrow.
how do they get into
deep slumber?
not by being uncaring or indifferent
but the fruit of a heart that
trusts enough
leads to spirit serene

let us be at peace in the loving arms of the
Father and be free from the yoke
of our daily restlessness.
for since the time we were
in our mother's womb,
the Father knew us, and
formed us, fashioned us
in His image and likeness...
"before you were conceived i wanted you,
before you were born, i loved you,
before you were an hour i would die for you,
this is the miracle of life...
(Maureen Hawkins)

go gently through life...